Welcome to The Funny/Alerts Newsletter. This last week I've finally gotten my life together... I just forgot where I put it! OK, stop. What I really mean is that with the help of friends like you, I've been able to maintain my sanity during these trying times. Being able to share a small part of my life with you has been a blessing and I want to thank you for being here for me. You've been a bright star in the gloom of the last seven months and I wanted to share with you that the gloom has finally been lifted. I saw my surgeon last Friday and I've gotten my pardon! I'm starting back to eight hour days without restriction beginning on Monday. Woohoo!
Josh has come up from LA this weekend and Anne and I took he and Tara to the movies. We decided that since we enjoyed "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" so much that we'd probably enjoy seeing "Iron Monkey." Although the marshal art sequences were beautifully choreographed (they were both done by the same choreographer), the movie itself lacked depth. There was no strong central character with which the audience could identify with and the over-abundance of subtitles (the whole thing is in Chinese) completely detracted from picture's flow. Final score: They owe US a large popcorn for paying to see this one!

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GRINS & GIGGLES:
Symptoms Of Inner Peace 

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A tendency to think and act spontaneously, rather than on fears based on past experiences.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others and judging other people.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of the ability to worry.
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
Frequent attacks of smiling.
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Inner Peace is contagious... Pass it on!

[thanks to Rich Rooney for this one]

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CYBERSPACE ALERT:
Online Safety

Picking up where I left off... 3) Don't accept candy, gifts or rides: downloads and attachments should be scanned before opening.

If you want to send an attachment to someone, let them know! As you will see, asking them if you should send it via email can save a lot of headaches for both of you for several reasons.

A} You are going to need the "bandwidth" to send it. If it's large and you "pipe" is small (such as a modem connection) then you will be faced with the frustration of having your internet connection plugged up until the job is done.

B} The receiver is going to need the bandwidth to receive it (for the same reasons). If the person on the other end is NOT expecting your attachment, they may conclude that the system is hung up and abort or exit before it completes. This has the added effect that when they try again later the server sends the email again because it was incomplete the first time; and again; and again until it gets through!

C} If either one of you would be inconvenienced by a large attachment consider simply sending the URL (web address) so that they can download it themselves. This will also free you from any responsibility if the file turns out to have become infected between the time you d/l it and they do.

D} If you're sending an attachment to someone at work, always ask if their email system will allow your file type through. In this day of rampaging virii, it's become commonplace for corporate networks to filter attachments with .BAT, .EXE, .COM, .VBS and other filename extensions.

E} Also inform them of the approximate size of the file that you are sending. If it's a document or spreadsheet and less than 750k in size it should transfer well due to the computer and/or modem compressing it. Just remember that graphic files are usually much larger and they typically DON'T compress very well. Combine this with the fact that a typical 56k modem connection only sends at approximately 1Meg/2.5 minutes (under optimum conditions) and you could be tieing things up for quite a while.

Take a look at the following site to get an idea of how long your file will take to send or receive. Just put in the file size and speed of the slowest of the two connections.
http://www.telusplanet.net/public/dennisf/support/tools/transferrates.htm

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MEATSPACE ALERT:
Q: Is organically grown produce really more nutritious?

Answer from Virginia Worthington, ScD... Yes. In an analysis of 41 published studies comparing conventional farming with organic farming, organic produce was found to contain up to 30% more vitamin C, iron, magnesium and phosphorus and significantly lower levels of nitrates (carcinogenic compounds formed from nitrogen commonly used in fertilizers).

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TRUE STORY:
TREE ENVY: J.P. Parshall's landlord was going to cut down a tree in his yard in Lacey, Wash. "I was sitting there one day and thinking, 'I know what I can make out of that'," Parshall said. "I told him to leave a 7- or 8-foot section" and then carved the remains into a giant phallus. He says most passerby like the carving, but a few have complained to the sheriff, who refuses to take action. "We don't have a county ordinance that I know of that says you can't carve your tree into a penis," says Thurston County Sheriff Capt. Dan Kimball. Some people have stopped to salute the carving, since Parshall has mounted two American flags on the top. But come rainy season, he says, the flags will be replaced with a giant condom "to promote safe sex." (AP) ...I don't think splinters is what the "safe sex" people have in mind.

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NEWSWORTHY:
Rompres (the Romanian central paper)
Joi, 13 septembrie 2001
ROM -10:14 - RO-MEDIA

''We are now about to see who indeed wants a peaceful future for this world and who merely feigns good intentions.'' the daily Romania Libera says in an editorial headlined ''Black Tuesday.''

''This tragedy has made the greatest power of the present world more humane,'' the Cotidianul newspaper stresses. ''Never in its history has America stirred such sympathy around the whole world. Even those who disliked the U.S. for various reasons, now feel solidarity with it,'' the paper adds. It ends by saying that ''Today, America certainly has more friends.'' 

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CBS NEWS WAS intrigued by the concept that hoax e-mail "warnings" about terrorism are, in fact, a form of terrorism themselves. The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel on CBS Monday morning (15 October) will talk about it. Briefly: ALWAYS CHECK OUT "warnings" that you get from friends by e-mail BEFORE you pass it along; the "Snopes" site is a great place to start. The government DOES NOT use e-mail as a means to send terrorism warnings to civilians, so you should ASSUME that any "warning" you get online IS a hoax. And sadly, there ARE plenty of such hoax e-mails running around, especially since September 11. By forwarding hoaxes, you contribute to terrorism by spreading fear. Is THAT what you REALLY mean to do? Please THINK before you forward!

http://www.snopes2.com/rumors/rumors.htm
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QUICK WIT:

The person who confesses ignorance shows it once; the person who conceals it shows it many times